Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
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