What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
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