Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
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