Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
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