Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
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