Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
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