What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
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