Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
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