Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
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