What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
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