What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
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