What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
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