What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
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