What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
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