How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
Go to BabaMail
