Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
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