Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
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