Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
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