Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
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