How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
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