What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
Go to BabaMail
