How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
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