What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
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