What's the opposite of an elephant?
An eleph-antonym.
What do you call a group of dyslexic crows?
A redrum.
What do you say to a bee that bothers you?
"Buzz off!"
What do you call a bird that can fix anything?
Duck Tape.
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toad!
What does a skunk’s car run on?
Fumes.
What do you get if you cross a giraffe and a hedgehog?
An extra long toilet brush.
What game do little bats like to play?
Batty fight.
Why was the deer a good driver? He was great at using the deering wheel!
A chap sees a zebra sitting on a seat beside him in the cinema eating popcorn. He says “what are you doing here?” The zebra says, “well, I enjoyed the book”.
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
What do you call a Spanish goat with no hind legs?
Gracias.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
What do you say when you catch a bee?
Behold!
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
What would you rather be, a polar bear or a little otter. A little (h)otter
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
What is a dog’s favorite movie about dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark.
Who is king of all the mice?
Mouse Tse Tung!
Why did the bunny say to the duck? You quack me up!
How can you tell which end of a worm is which? Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs.
Did you hear about the panda that had a slight stutter?
Seems it’s a story that bears repeating.
What’s a llama’s favorite song?
Llama Chameleon.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
A priest, a rabbit and a deacon walk into a blood bank.
"I think I might be a type o." said the rabbit.
Why was the mosquito sad on christmas?
It was a bah hum bug.
A wolfswagon rabbit is by far the best car you can gift a wolf.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
What did hear about the two bats meeting?
It was love at first bite!
Where did Noah keep his bees? In his archive.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
"How much did you have to drink?"
"About a birds worth."
"What?"
"You know, toucans."
Do You Know How Crabs Get Around On Land?
They Use The Sidewalk!
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
Who is the wasps' favorite singer?
Sting.
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
A flamingo can be a really good friend to have. However, they generally fit the bill really well.
What is a beaver's most favorite drama series ever? Riverdale.
What Kind of Books do Rabbits Read? Ones with Hoppy Endings.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
What is a naughty beavers' favorite type of wood ever? Knotty pine.
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
I asked a panda if he was my friend.
He said, “Just bearly”.
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