I started dating a girl I really like. She's really into bees.
I think she's a keeper
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw? Because they don't know how to cook it.
How can you tell which rabbits are getting old? Look for the grey hares.
Beavers enjoy being in the company of a river because they go with the flow.
What do you call an ant who joins the army?
Milit-ant.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a crab with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
Experts suggest that the crows flying beak first into windows at a horrifying speed comit a murder suicide.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face? A mouse-tache!
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
Flamingos do annoy each other sometimes. Apparently this is because they enjoy ruffling feathers.
What do llamas do when they eat outside together?
They have an alpacanic.
When a dinosaur gets a goal in a soccer tournament, it is known as a dino-score.
What's the difference between and Buffalo and a Bison?
You can't wash your face in a Buffalo.
What’s a bats favorite desert?
I-Scream!
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
What did one frog say.to the other?
Time's sure fun when you're having flies.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
Why are rabbits so lucky? They have four rabbit’s feet.
What do you call a militia of pigeons?
A coo.
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus!
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
What do you get if you cross a mouse with a Triceratops? Enormous holes in the base boards.
What do you call an insect that can’t drink milk?
Lactose intoler-ant.
My wife: Oh look, here's instructions on building a carpenter bee trap.
Me: Shouldn't they be able to do that themselves?
Where do you get frog's eggs?
At the spawn shop.
Before the Koalaville basketball team can play for the national championship, they have to make it through the koalafying rounds.
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What medicine do you give to sick ants?
Antibiotics.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
My uncles petshop really started doing well when he started selling parrots. They literally flew off the shelves.
What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
"Odor in the court!"
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted.
What do you call a group of crows eating a box of corn flakes?
A cereal murder.
How do you make a rabbit float? Put soda, syrup, and milk into a glass. Add one rabbit.
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
Wife: would you get me those two cans from the top shelf?
Me: I don't see any toucans in here.
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