What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
What do you call a wasp who is having a bad hair day?
A frizz-bee
What do you call an American Bee?
A USB.
Why are parrots so loyal? They are a man of their bird!
What do you give a sick snake?
Asp-rin.
What do you called a crow that cant find his way?
A lost caws
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
What did the beaver mention to a tree? It has been nice gnawing you.
Where do you take a sick hornet?
To the waspital.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What happened to the Easter bunny at school? He was eggspelled.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
What is a koala’s favorite soft drink? Koka-Koala, of course!
I don’t know why everyone is so upset about untraditional family structures, it’s been happening in the animal world for years. For example, all water buffalos have three parents.
One oxygen buffalo and two hydrogen buffalos.
What is the maggot army called? The Apple Corps.
What do you call an ant who joins the army?
Milit-ant.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself!
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean!
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
Why do mice need oiling ?
Because they squeak !
What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long?
A pi-thon.
What do you call a flying elephant?
A jumbo jet.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
I tried asking some beavers to help me build my house. They didn’t give a dam.
What do you get if cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle-neck jumper.
Whats the preferred car of frogs?
The Beetle.
Flamingoes have a special name for one of their numbers who has passed away. They call it flamingone.
Which condiment is a mouse’s favourite?
Mouse-tard.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
What is good at maths and related to a crocodile?
A calcu-gator
What does Willow Smith say to her pets? I whip my hare back and forth.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
What did one crow say to the other after the party?
We were raven.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
How do elephants bathe?
With their trunks on.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
What separates humans from dolphins?
The surface of the water.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant? Very big worm holes in your garden.
What do you call a flying turtle?
A shellicopter.
Where’s a dolphin’s favorite place to drink?
A dive bar!
How do you find zebra?
Look under zeshirt.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
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