Most camels prefer camelmile drinks because of the nutrition in there.
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
A snapping turtle is a turtle that takes up pgotography.
I just got back from Dubai where I was offered 40 camels for my wife.
I usually smoke Marlboro but hey... a deal's a deal.
Don’t wait on me to start the meeting. I might be a hare late.
I really like the Lion King
and every day the urge to sing one of the songs is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.
What kind of key has no lock?
A turkey.
What do Chinese bears wear over their faces when they’re robbing banks?
Pandanas!
Have you ever heard of the Crows Law Of Energy Conservation?
It's also known as the Law of Caws and Effect.
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
The farmer cried wolf when all his three pigs were mauled by the jungle wolf.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
Whale, whale, whale …
If it isn’t a pod.
My wife asked why I prefer gummy bears to gummy worms.
I said that gummy worms are beneath me.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
What is a giraffe’s favorite fruit?
Necktarines.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?
Eleph-ino! (Sounds like "Hell if I know!")
How do you write a book about bats? With a ghostwriter.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
Why do bees stay in the hive during the winter?
Swarm.
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
What do snakes do when they get angry?
They throw hissy fits.
How do you apologize to a koala?
Bear your heart and soul to them.
When is a car like a frog?
When it's being toad.
Why is the snail the strongest animal? Because he carries a house on his back!
Why isn't the the koala a real bear? He doesn't have the right koalifications.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.
What do you call a fascist mosquito?
Benito Mosquitollini.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
What makes more noise than a dinosaur ? Two dinosaurs!
What do you call a bee that lives in a mud hive?
An adobee!
What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
Anything you want, he can’t hear you.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
For goat’s sake, that’s enough.
Where does the Easter bunny get his eggs? From an eggplant.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a python."
"Oh you can’t get round me like that, you know."
What do you call a cold dog sitting on a rabbit? A chili dog on a bun!
What kind of music do goats listen to?
Baaa-ch!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
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