My zebra is a rubbish ballet dancer. I think he’s got two left feet.
Whats in a camels favorite cup of tea?
Camelmile
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
What do you call a handsome seal?
Mr. Seal Yo Girl.
I know a guy who absolutely loves his pet Parrot.
He is Polly-Amorous.
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
My wife: Oh look, here's instructions on building a carpenter bee trap.
Me: Shouldn't they be able to do that themselves?
Where do ants go on vacation?
Frants.
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff.
Baa dum tssssss.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
What always succeeds? A toothless parrot! (sucks seeds)
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur ? Cheer him up!
And the collective nouns go: a murder of crows, a herd of cows, a migraine of children.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Why was the crow upset about his job? The HR fired the crow with no caws.
If you ever own a koala as a pet, make sure you can keep track of it by putting a koalar around its neck.
What happened when the bat swallowed the alarm-clock?
She turned into a ding-bat.
Why did the blind seal get eaten by the orca?
Because he couldn’t see that whale.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a Spider? A Hare net!
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them.
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What do you call it when a dinosaur gets in a car accident? Tyrannasaurus wreck!
A fight between tiger and lion broke out. Both of them wanted to become the next empe-roar of the jungle.
I'm giving away my legless parrot, no perches necessary!
Q: Why did the beaver need an alarm clock?
A: It was to dam early.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tell it a funny Halloween joke and see which end laughs!
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What is a parrot's favourite colour shade?
Polly-chromatic
What country has the most birds?
Turkey.
Why was the mother rattlesnake sad?
The time had come for her children to strike out on their own.
A beaver told a joke about a waterfall. It was a pour joke.
Each year, lots of wolves go treating in howl-o-ween.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
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