What is one of the big tiger's most favorite hangout places? A shopping maul.
If you ever own a koala as a pet, make sure you can keep track of it by putting a koalar around its neck.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Water.
Water who?
Water your plans for the weekend, Mr Beaver?
What did the maggot say to another?
What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this?
What did the baby deer say to his friend?
“I’m so fawn-d of you!”
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
What do you get if you cross a Triceratops with a kangaroo ? A Tricera-hops!
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were prime mates.
How do pink birds make friends? They fla-mingle.
Looking after more than one elephant at a time requires the ability to multi-tusk.
What do you call an ant that doesn’t sink?
Bouy-ant.
What mouse was a Roman emperor? Julius Cheeser!
My wife and I are very competitive, but when it came to flamingo impersonation, I didn't stand a chance
She had a leg up the whole time.
Why did the blind seal get eaten by the orca?
Because he couldn’t see that whale.
Never take a flamingo to the local swimming baths. They really don’t like claw-rine.
What is a giraffe’s favorite fruit?
Necktarines.
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
How does a dolphin do cocaine?
With its blow hole.
What are unsolved murders called when it happens in a society of crows? Murder mysteries.
What did the beaver say to the river? You can run but can't tide.
What did Cinderella Dolphin lose?
Her glass flipper!
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
What does a frog order in Mcdonald's?
French flies and a diet croak.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
Why are snakes hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
On Halloween night a group of crows decided to enact a scene from the play Julius Ceaser, they were enacting the caw-nspiracy scene.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
What flies around your light at night and can bite your head off?
A tiger moth.
Why wasn’t the giraffe invited to the party?
He was a pain in the neck.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fishually impaired.
What is the similarity between a male deer and a beaver? Both have buck teeth.
A flamingo only ever asks for a plaster when it hurts its pinky.
Why do owls shower so often?
So they don’t smell fowl.
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Hide and Speak!
Never trust a flamingo unless you can be sure it has fully fledged ideas.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat?
A dirty kid!
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
What do you call a group of crows who see food?
A tempted murder.
My wife and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday.
It tortoise nothing.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
What do you call an bat with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
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