Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
What is good at maths and related to a crocodile?
A calcu-gator
What do you use to get paint off a snake?
Serpentine.
How do you upset a dinosaur? Touchasaurus Spot.
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
The sheep says to the shepherd "you're an jerk and I hate you!" and the shepherd says "Say what?"
And the sheep goes "You herd me!"
A famous turtle is called a shell-ebrity.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
Did you guys hear about the camel that got a gig playing a cow on Broadway?
She was a real drama dairy.
What do you call two worms in love?
Soilmates.
What is a grandma sheep called?
A baaaa-nana
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
Don’t wait on me to start the meeting. I might be a hare late.
Did you hear about the owl who married a goat?
The had a hootenanny.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
What do you call a thirsty camel ?
A dry humper.
What do you call a super articulate dinosaur?
A Thesaurus.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
What’s a deer’s go-to ice cream flavor?
Cookie-doe.
How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
What’s long, green and goes hith?
A snake with a lisp.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tell it a funny Halloween joke and see which end laughs!
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
I have the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
Why did the beaver stop cutting down trees?
The work gave him gnawsea
Don't worry, bee happy!
What happens when fish start an addiction to worms?
They get hooked.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
Have you seen my lobster?
I'm worried he might by a lost claws.
Some people like to play croc-quet.
The cawllarborne of the skinny crow was so pronounced.
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Water.
Water who?
Water your plans for the weekend, Mr Beaver?
What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet? A Dinosaucer
What's green, green, green, green, green?
A frog rolling down a hill.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
What kind of gang violence is common among owls?
A drive by hooting.
Where do crows try their luck?
Ma-cau
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers? Because he is a meat eater!
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
Why did the lion cross the road? Because he saw a zebra-crossing...
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
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