Her: "Buffalo meat is delicious. What are they made of? Beef?"
Me: "No... They're made of buff."
What happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street? The police had to comb the area.
How do flamingos clean themselves? They flaminget a shower.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
What holiday do bats love best?
St. Bat-rich’s Day.
What does a ghost panda eat?
BamBOO!
How do frogs die?
They Kermit suicide.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
Why do bees stay in the hive during the winter?
Swarm.
Q: Why did the beaver need an alarm clock?
A: It was to dam early.
Where do most koala movie stars live? In Koalawood, Koalafornia, of course!
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak?
Mouse code!
What did the deer say to his friend when he suggested a trip to the park? Good i-deer!
What do you call a lobster that's afraid of tight spaces?
Claw-strophobic
What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
"Odor in the court!"
If dolphins lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland!
Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
I used to know two birds who excelled in ballet...
They were two toucans.
Two fruit flies are out for dinner.
I'm really enjoy this date...”
“Yeah, but it’s only half rotten.”
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
Q. Which doe did all the stags and bucks sing about in the 1960s?
A. Deer Prudence.
What's a frog's favorite flower?
A croakus.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
The tiger asked his longtime friend, "Will you be my tigerlfriend."
I threw water on a flamingo the other day
Now it's just an O.
What do you say to a bee that bothers you?
"Buzz off!"
Where does a rottweiler sit in the cinema?
Anywhere it wants to.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
What is a deer’s favorite after-school snack?
“Doe-nuts.”
How do you measure a mosquito’s harddrive?
With bug bytes.
Why don’t dolphin do well on school tests?
Because they work below C-Level!
What do you call a dinosaur that lost his glasses? uthinkhesawrus
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
Wife: would you get me those two cans from the top shelf?
Me: I don't see any toucans in here.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
Two goats are married, living on a farm. Billy Goat says, "I really want children. Let's make some babies."
Betty Goat responds, "Heck no. No baby goats for me..."
"I'm not kidding."
How did the sheep farmer become best in his field?
Shear luck.
A chap sees a zebra sitting on a seat beside him in the cinema eating popcorn. He says “what are you doing here?” The zebra says, “well, I enjoyed the book”.
What do you call a stoned, dyslexic crow?
A hybrid
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Beakaboo
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
Which birds go to church a lot?
Birds of pray.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
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