What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
What do a mommy bee and a daddy bee make when they have alone time?
A babe-bee.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Croak-et.
What are crisp, like milk and go 'eek, eek, eek' when you eat them? Mice Krispies!
What is an owl who has been caught called?
A spotted owl.
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What do snakes do when they get angry?
They throw hissy fits.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
How do you catch a squirrel who's interested in ornithology?
Climb a tree and act like a nuthatch.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. I paid my $2 and he said...
Once upon a time there was this lobster...
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
What do you call an ant with big hair?
Bouff-ant.
What do llamas do when they eat outside together?
They have an alpacanic.
Overheard on a bus... What do you call a social hermit crab?
Just a crab.
Why did the frog make so many mistakes?
It jumped to the wrong conclusions.
What do you call a crocodile that likes to bowl?
An alley-gator!
What is a crows favorite vegetable?
Corn on the caawb.
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
In order to be efficient, I named my parrots Roger, Gene, and Mick.
Two Byrds, one Stone.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What do your call a dinosaur with one eye? Eye-saur.
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
What is a deer’s favorite after-school snack?
“Doe-nuts.”
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
What do you call a bat with the flu?
An airborne disease.
What do you call a guy who believes in ethical treatment of spiders?
Peta Parker.
Why did the scientist use a drink container to communicate with dolphins?
Because a bottle knows dolphin.
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
Did you hear about the constipated crocodile?
It was a crockashit.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
What is small, furry and brilliant at sword fights?
A mouseketeer!
Why do bees stay in the hive during the winter?
Swarm.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
What's better than a talking dinosaur ? A spelling bee. What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try-Try-Try-ceratops.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
Do you know what kind of stock to use when making neotropical near-passerine bird soup?
Doesnt matter, as long as you put Toucans in.
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye? Doyouthinkhesawus
What martial art do monkeys practice?
Flung Poo.
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