Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom? Because the 'p' is silent
Why are two parrots better than one? One parrot can't carry a coconut, but toucan!
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.
What is the head of an Italian dinosaur family called? Ptera Don
What did the Mountain lion say to the bathroom attendant?
Out of the way, I’m about to Puma pants!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Why was the scarecrow upset with the worm?
It was going ear to ear in the corn field!
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What did the snail say as he slipped down the wall? How slime flies!
It’s really easy to send a nice card to a flamingo. You just write “Hope you have a flamingood…”
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
What did the river ask the beaver? "Water you doing today?"
When someone accidentally stepped on his foot, the wolf screamed, Aoooowwwww!
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear?
A shell-met!
What do you call a rabbit who is angry over getting burnt? A hot cross bunny.
Crows have 16 feather pinions and ravens have 17 pinions. It's just a matter of a pinion.
What do rabbits like to sing? “Every bunny was kung fu fighting.”
Why don’t elephants use computers?
Because they’re afraid of the mouse.
What do you call a goat that lip-syncs?
Billy Vanilli.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
What's better than a talking dinosaur ? A spelling bee. What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try-Try-Try-ceratops.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
Why does the dolphin kingdom never go to war?
Because it would defeat the porpoise.
Q: What does a tiger call an antelope?
A: Fast food.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tell it a funny Halloween joke and see which end laughs!
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
What’s a glow worms favourite song?
Wake me up before you glow glow!
What do you called a crow that cant find his way?
A lost caws
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
Why don’t dolphins play basketball?
Because they’re afraid of the net!
It is said that crows and owls are in caw-hoots.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
The killer whale planned its attack on the seals for weeks.
It was very carefully orca-strated.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
What is it called when a dinosaur hits a homerun?
A Dino-Score.
What is the name of Santa’s rudest deer?
Rude-olph.
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