I have so many Easter puns, it’s not even bunny.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large chested crab?
One’s a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean
My lobster's name is:
Claude
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
Why don’t snakes drink coffee?
Because it makes them viperactive.
How much fur can you get from a dinosaur ? As fur as you can get!
What is a snake’s favorite TV show?
Monty Python.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
What do you call a dinosaur that lost his glasses? uthinkhesawrus
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
Why did the mouse stay inside?
Because it was raining cats and dogs.
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
I was talking to a barn owl last night, when I mentioned that I'd just got engaged.
He said, "You twit! To who?"
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
Did you hear about the two silkworms that were in a race? They wound up in a tie.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
How do you upset a dinosaur? Touchasaurus Spot.
Where do you get frog's eggs?
At the spawn shop.
Which side of a duck has the most feathers?
The outside.
Why do flamingos make bad pets? They are too much of a birden.
Did you hear about the birds of prey on black Friday?
It was a free for owl.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
What did the Easter bunny say to the carrot?It’s been nice gnawing you.
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
Who’s a llama’s favorite pop singer?
Llama Del Ray.
What does a turtle do during winter? Sit by the fire and worm himself up.
How do you make a panda?
Punch a polar bear in the eyes.
What do you call a dinosaur that left its armor out in the rain ? A Stegosau-rust.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
Which color is a zebra's base color? The debate is endless, and there is no clear answer.
It both is and isn't a black-and-white issue.
What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs bunny
Why do snakes always measure in inches?
Because they don’t have any feet.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
The truck load of tortoise that crushed caused a turtle disaster.
Whoever lives by the sword shell die by it.
What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had? Baby dinosaurs!
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
A beaver goes into a bar and sees a man standing behind the bar and asks him...
"Excuse me sir. Is the bar tender here?"
Have you watched werewolves taking lunch, you will be amused, they literally wolf it down!
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
What do you get when you cross ants with ticks?
All sorts of antics.
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat? 'Here Kitty, kitty, kitty'!
What reads and lives in an apple? A bookworm.
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