A magician once said he could make a tiger disappear but only transformed it into a tabby cat...
It was a sleight exaggeration.
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
Did you hear about the rabbit who refused to leave her house? She was having a bad hare day.
What happened when the two giraffes had a race?
It was neck and neck.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
What do you call a turkey's evil twin?
A Gobblegänger.
What did the bat complain about?
Flying with such frequency was exhausting.
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat?
‘Here Kitty, kitty, kitty’!
I ordered chicken fingers tossed in Buffalo sauce the other day
I asked the chef to be gentle while tossing them though. Because they’re tenders.
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
What is a koala’s favorite type of fruit? Bearies.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
What's worse than lobsters on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
What’s a whale’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
So what did the Mother bee say to her misbehaving bee son
"Beehive!"
Which dinosaur can't stay out of the rain? A Stegosaur-rust
How come Crabs never share with their friends?
Because they're Shellfish.
Why had the beaver left the pond? He thought it was too shallow.
What is a mouse’s favorite game?
Hide and squeak!
Why are goats and rhinos attracted to each other?
Because they are both horny animals.
Where does a dinosaur lay in the sun? At the dino-shore
What is it called when a dinosaur hits a homerun?
A Dino-Score.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
What do you call a dinosaur that left its armor out in the rain ? A Stegosau-rust.
Why don’t koalas like fast food? Because it’s too hard for them to catch.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
When you come across a lost wolf, the first greeting should be, “how are you where-wolf”.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a frog?
A jump rope.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
What does the queen bee of every hive tell their workers to do?
She tells them to bee productive.
What our parents tortoise was to be kind to each other.
What did the husband beaver say to the wife beaver to express his love and gratitude? You are the one for me, waddle I do without you?
What happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street? The police had to comb the area.
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
How do you upset a dinosaur? Touchasaurus Spot.
Where do parrots invest their money?
In the stork market
Did you hear about the guy who killed a group of catholic crows?
It was Mass murder
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Boy! I'm stuffed!
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
What style of classical music do sheep most enjoy?
Baa-roque
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
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