How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
What did one beached whale say to the other beached whale?
Long time no sea.
Whale, whale, whale …
If it isn’t a pod.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Why can’t you screw with whales?
because they hump back.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Which type of whale can fly?
Pilot whales.
What do whales like to chew?
Blubber gum.
Have you ever seen a fish cry?
No, but I’ve seen a whale blubber.
Did you know that the blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court …
The game would be cancelled.
What do you call a group of whale musicians?
An orca-stra.
What’s a whale’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
What’s an orca’s favorite TV show?
Whale Of Fortune.
Why was the Whale bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
What’s a whale’s favorite movie?
The Humpback Of Notre Dame.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
What do polite whales always say?
You’re whale-come.
What’s a whale’s favorite James Bond movie?
A License To Krill.
The killer whale planned its attack on the seals for weeks.
It was very carefully orca-strated.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
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