What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long?
A pi-thon.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane?
A Boeing constrictor.
Two snakes parted.
The first one said, “Fangs for the memories”.
What do snakes use to clean their car windows?
Windscreen vipers.
What do snakes do when they get angry?
They throw hissy fits.
What do you call an important English snake?
Sir Pent.
What do you call luggage made of snakeskin?
Ex-hiss baggage.
What do you call a snake with no clothes on?
Snaked.
What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
What did the snake give to his wife?
A goodnight hiss.
What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig?
A boar constrictor.
How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?
I’m pretty sure he has Asp burgers.
What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A civil serpent.
Why was the snake mad at the jewel thief?
Because he wanted his diamondback.
How do you get yarn out of a snake?
Wait until it sheds its skein.
What’s long, green and goes hith?
A snake with a lisp.
Who is a snake’s favorite actor?
Humphrey Boa-gart.
What did one python say to the other before they made a deal?
Let’s “snake” on it.
Why did the two boa constrictors get married?
Because they had a crush on each other.
What is a snake’s favorite TV show?
Monty Python.
What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders.
Why should you never throw a snake like a boomerang?
Because it’ll come back to bite you.
Why was the mother rattlesnake sad?
The time had come for her children to strike out on their own.
Go to BabaMail
