What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long?
A pi-thon.
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff.
Baa dum tssssss.
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
Why don’t snakes drink coffee?
Because it makes them viperactive.
Why should you never throw a snake like a boomerang?
Because it’ll come back to bite you.
What do you call a snake with no clothes on?
Snaked.
What do married snakes have on their bath towels?
Hiss and Hers.
Why can’t you trust snakes?
They speak with forked tongues.
What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A civil serpent.
I invented a device that can stop a snake in its tracks.
It's made of asphalt.
What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?
Addercadabra and abradacobra.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane?
A Boeing constrictor.
What do you call a snake that informs the police?
A grass snake.
What do you call a funny snake?
Hissssssterical.
What did the snake give to his wife?
A goodnight hiss.
What’s long, green and goes hith?
A snake with a lisp.
What is a snake’s favorite TV show?
Monty Python.
How do you get yarn out of a snake?
Wait until it sheds its skein.
Why do snakes always measure in inches?
Because they don’t have any feet.
How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
Who is a snake’s favorite actor?
Humphrey Boa-gart.
What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
What do snakes do when they get angry?
They throw hissy fits.
What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
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