What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?
Fang letters.
Who is a snake’s favorite author?
William Snakespeare.
What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
What do you call a snake that builds things?
A boa constructor.
Two snakes parted.
The first one said, “Fangs for the memories”.
What did the snake give to his wife?
A goodnight hiss.
Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?
I’m pretty sure he has Asp burgers.
What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane?
A Boeing constrictor.
Why was the mother rattlesnake sad?
The time had come for her children to strike out on their own.
Which are the best mathematicians amongst the snake family?
The adders.
What do you call luggage made of snakeskin?
Ex-hiss baggage.
Looks like the boa cons-tricked her.
How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?
Wait until he’s finished.
What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird?
A feather boa.
Why did the viper, viper nose?
Because the adder, adder hankerchief.
I invented a device that can stop a snake in its tracks.
It's made of asphalt.
Why are snakes hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff.
Baa dum tssssss.
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A civil serpent.
Why should you never throw a snake like a boomerang?
Because it’ll come back to bite you.
What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves.
Why can’t you trust snakes?
They speak with forked tongues.
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