What do you call a sloth that barely moves a muscle? A slow-off (show off).
When does a sloth go "moo"? When it is learning a new language!
I told my husband that the National Zoo's sloth bear gave birth but ate two of the three babies. He said "now she's guilty of 2 deadly sins: sloth and gluttony."
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
What do you get when you cross a sloth and a Scottish rock band? Slow Patrol.
My grandfather recently passed, and I discovered in his journal that he has an immense hatred for sloths, pandas, and koala bears. Looking back, it was obvious.
He was always going on about those darn tree-huggers.
What do you call it when a sloth eats a second plate of food?
Slothy seconds
A sloth walks in to a bar and waves to get the bartender’s attention, and says I’ll have...... a soda water.
The bartender replies “why the long paws?”
What do you call a sloth that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
What do sloths make when it snows? Slow Angels.
What do you get when you cross a cat and a sloth? A slow leopard.
How do you apologize to a sloth? BEAR your heart and soul.
What is a three toed sloth's favorite kind of chip?
Fritos.
What do sloths throw in winter? Slowballs.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job? He would only do the BEAR minimum.