What do you get when you cross an owl with an oyster?
Pearls of wisdom.
Why do owl babies take after their dad?
Like feather, like son.
What is an owl’s dream occupation?
Flight attendant.
Why shouldn’t you tell an owl your secrets?
They’re always talon everyone.
What was the owl’s favorite Whitney Houston song?
Owl always love you.
Why did the owl 'owl?
Because the Woodpecker would peck 'er.
Did you hear about the owl party?
It was a hoot.
What did the owl say to the judge?
I’m talon you, it wasn’t me.
Why do owls shower so often?
So they don’t smell fowl.
What kind of gang violence is common among owls?
A drive by hooting.
What kind of books do owls read?
Hoo-dunnits.
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
What do you call a smartass bird of prey?
A know it owl.
Why do owls make such bad baseball players?
Their hits are always fowl.
Why doesn’t an owl study for a test?
They prefer to wing it.
I was talking to a barn owl last night, when I mentioned that I'd just got engaged.
He said, "You twit! To who?"
What did the owl booty text his girlfriend?
I’ve been thinking about you owl night long.
What's the difference between a sniper with Parkinson's Disease and a constipated owl?
One can shoot but can't hit...
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