I had a bet on a giraffe race yesterday but my selection lost.
It was nowhere near winning – it lost by a neck.
What do you call a zoo that has only giraffes in it?
Giraffic Park.
An introvert elephant and an emo giraffe walked into a bar.
They couldn’t fit in.
What do you call a giraffe winning a horse race?
A long shot.
Today I learned that a giraffe’s neck is so strong a human can climb up it.
Also, I got banned from my local zoo.
Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
Let me warn you, it’s a long one.
Why wasn’t the giraffe invited to the party?
He was a pain in the neck.
What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A centipede with athlete’s foot.
How was the first giraffe made?
Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.
Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?
Because its head is so far from its body.
Why do giraffes have long necks?
Because their feet smell.
Why did the giraffe graduate early?
He was head and shoulders above the rest of the class.
What do you call a royal giraffe?
Your highness.
What is a giraffe’s favorite fruit?
Necktarines.
What happened when the two giraffes had a race?
It was neck and neck.
What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?
Neck-romance-y.
What do you get when you cross a giraffe and a pig?
Bacon and legs.
What’s green and hangs from trees?
Giraffe snot.
Why don’t giraffes make good pets?
They’re too high maintenance.
Why don’t most restaurants serve giraffe?
Because it’s a tall order.
What do you get if you cross a giraffe and a hedgehog?
An extra long toilet brush.
What do you get if cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle-neck jumper.
What do you get when two giraffes run into each other?
A giraffic jam.
The worst part about being a giraffe…
Is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you’re sinking into quicksand.
Why don’t giraffes do drugs?
Because they’re naturally high.
What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?
A plane in the neck.
What did Dracula say when he saw a giraffe for the first time?
I’d like to get to gnaw you.
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