What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
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