Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. I paid my $2 and he said...
Once upon a time there was this lobster...
What do you call a lobster that's afraid of tight spaces?
Claw-strophobic
My lobster's name is:
Claude
Our lobster neighbors never give us gifts during the holidays!
They’re so shellfish.
The lobster is one shell of an animal.
Where does a lobster keep its clothes?
In the clawset!
I met this really beautiful crustacean, but I lobst her number.
Have you seen my lobster?
I'm worried he might by a lost claws.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea-weed.
How does a lobster answer the phone?
"Shello?"
What's worse than lobsters on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
What’s the difference between a greyhound station and a lobster with a boob job?
One’s a crusty bus-station, the other’s a busty crustacean.
A lobster's favorite shot in tennis?
The lob.
What's the difference between a lobster and a Chinese man who's been run over by a bus?
Ones a crustaecian and the other is a crushed Asian.
Just had Lobster Bisque for the first time!
It was souper good!
Why do people like working at the Red Lobster?
It helps them get out of their shell.
here do lobsters go to borrow money? The prawn broker.
What do you get if you cross a lobster with a telephone?
A snappy talk.
What do you call a lobster with a Christmas hat?
Santa Claws
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