Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
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