What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
My dog went on his first date.
But she was a mal-TEASE.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
Go to BabaMail
