Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
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