Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
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