Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
"Read between the wines."
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
.
I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a bottle of fine wine?
Things went pour-ably wrong.
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
"Rosé all day."
"You can't sip with us."
"I need to re-wine my life."
"Stop and smell the rosé."
"Great minds drink alike."
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
Why have a mer little when you can have a merlot?
"No wine left behind."
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
"Sip, sip hooray."
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
"Partners in wine."
What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
Mos-cat-o!
"You're the wine that I want."
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