What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite musician?
Mozart-arella.
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
What kind of cheese protects a castle?
Moat-zarella.
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Limb-burger.
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
What cheese cries the most?
Babybel.
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
What did the aged cheddar say when his mom told him he couldn’t see a movie that was rated R?
“I’m mature for my age.”
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese? Muenster cheese.
How do you get a mouse to smile? Say cheese!
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
Why did the parmesan swipe left on the cheddar?
His pick-up line was too cheesey.
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite Village People song?
Nacho Man.
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De-brie went everywhere!
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
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