Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little Sham pain.
"It's wine o'clock."
"Read between the wines."
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
"Rosé all day."
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
"Partners in wine."
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
"Great minds drink alike."
"Sip happens."
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
"I make pour decisions."
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
"You can't sip with us."
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
"Back that glass up."
"I need to re-wine my life."
"Alcohol you later."
"Stop and smell the rosé."
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
"You had me at merlot."
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
You’re wine in a million.
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
"Here for the right riesling."
"Love the wine you're with."
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
"On cloud wine."
"Be kind, re-wine."
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
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