What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.