What did the salt shaker say to the graint of salt? Why you INSALT MEEE.
What did baby clock ask mama clock? Where's father Thyme.
How does a restaurant get the freshest ingredients? They cut a dill.
How should you live your life? By seasoning the moment.
Have you heard of the garlic diet? You don't lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner!
Chefs earn a meager celery, cumin home beat they just want to read the pepper and spend thyme with the kids.
How does the recipe for German Sauerbraten begin? "First invade ze kitchen."
My doctor told me "No more spicy food.", but I decided to have one last fennel fling.
When do you put paprika on eggs? Fry-Day.
A protestor threw a bunch of spices on Jason "Pink" London, but all it did was leave him "Saged and Confused".
How do you know you in "love" with spicy food? After getting to third basil.
Why shouldn't you buy illegal seasonings? It's always a shady dill.
Why did the farmer feed his pigs a mixture of sugar, vinegar, and soy sauce? He wanted sweet and sour pork.
What is a ghost peppers favorite Leonardo Dicaprio film? Catch me if you Cayenne.
If my Hindu girlfriend thinks I'm going to eat Indian food, she has another think cumin.
What vegetable is not allowed on ships? Leeks.
One day, tamarind, curry and ice were crossing the road. All of a sudden they heard a gunshot. Then, tamabrind ball, curry duck and ice-cream!
A burglar broke into my house and took all my condiments, now I'm Spiceless in Seattle.
What do you get when you spice up date night? Netflix and Chilis.
Why do baby seals swim in salt water? Cause pepper water makes them sneeze.
I asked the Korean grocer for something to spice up my meals, but I think I got a raw dill.
Did you hear about the flatmate who woke up to a spicy toothbrush? He had it cumin.
So I was cleaning my spice cabinet...
and now I have a lot of thyme on my hands!
I cut a dill with this spicy mami, but at the last minute she ginger mind.
Teacher: What are the seasons? Student: Salt, pepper, ginger...
Where did the garlic clove go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
Did you hear about the guy who overdosed on curry powder? He went into a korma.
What do you call a dinosaur that drinks curry? A Mega-sore-arse.
I switched labels in my wife's spice cabinet.
She hasn't noticed, but the thyme is cumin.
What does a nosey pepper do? Gets Jalapeno business.
My wife doesn't like spicy food and I think it's a cayenne shame.
What kind of socks do you need to plant cayenne pepper? Garden hose!
Why did the Iron Chef have to stop cooking? He ran out of Thyme.
What happened when a farmer crossed a chili pepper, a shovel, and a pitbull? He got a hot-diggity-dog.
Why can't chefs play baseball? They always get caught trying to steal a basil.
Who did the Caribbean jerk fall in love with? The Spice Girl next door.
National Herbs and Spices Day is celebrated annually on June 10.
What does a good spice rack help you win? The Hunger Games.
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
My herbs were looking a little scuffed, but when I went to go polish them, my friend was already getting ready to help me out. This made me upset, so I grabbed a sprig out of their hands and said
This is my thyme to shine.
What do cloves use for money? Garlic "Bread."
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