If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
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