What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!