The guilty conscience of stealing and consuming a whole peach is getting to me. I feel like there's a pit in my gut.
Son: Hey dad, I stole a peach from the grocery store today.
Dad: Why?
Son: I don’t know, but I feel guilty. It’s a real pit in my stomach.
The nectarine academic is doing a Ph.D. in 'Peach and Language Psychology' from the University of Georgia.
Q: What would a peach love to pet?
A: A Pit Bull.
It is a great idea to ask peaches to make your shoes. After all, they make excellent cobblers.
What did the nectarine say after the church service? The peacher gave a great sermon!
After I show a peach the way, it says: “I really ap-peach-iate your help!”
What song do young peaches love listening to? 'Papa don't peach'.
Q: Where do fruits manufacture their money?
A: Peach Mint.
I asked my nectarine friend how she was doing after her break up and she said 'It's the pits, man.'
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.The Peach President lost the presidential race because he got im-peached.
I just hear that the woman who lives next door and loves fruit died. I hope she would rest in peach.
Which tool does a peach biologist often use for its experiment? – A peachtree dish (Petri dish).
Peaches tend to be really mean. After all, they have hearts of stone.
I went to watch a play and there were so many peach errors in the dialogues.
The big play is in seven days, you better work on your peach enhancement techniques.
My mother says: “Leave that peach cobbler alone on the table!” However, I cannot help myself and sneak in to watch it making beautiful peach shoes.
While breaking up with Princess Peach, Mario said "You are so peachy, I can't take it anymore".
A fruit was madly in love, it was peachy–keen.
Wondering about a peach's favorite movie? Well it has to be the 'King's Peach'.
Q: Why did no one like peach’s personality?
A: Because it had a heart of stone.
We are thinking of spending the night at the peach house, by the shore.
A cued peach visual communication system is used with people suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
Q: Who is Peach’s favorite actor?
A: Brad Pit.
An inspirational speaker came to speak at the fruit stand today. He told us to peach for the stars.
This special peach school is for those Peach kids who are suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
When I got mugged on my way back from the greengrocers, I was peach-less!
Why did the fruit run for president? He wanted world peach.
At a get-together, one fruit asked another "I was wondering how have you been". The other replied "Just peachy, isn't that grape?"
Where do you put nectarines when you want to freeze them? Inside the peach-zer.
Interesting fact: A nectarine can also be a peach if it does not have peach fuzz.
"Personally, I like people who peach on time, and are always punctual," said the strawberry.
On Valentine's Day, the peach said to his wife, "You will always have a peach of my heart!"
Why does it take a while before a peach leaves a fruit basket? They have to give a goodbye peach first.
What do we call a beautiful picture drawn by a peach artist? – It is a great peach of work.
What's a vampire's most favorite fruit? It must be a neck-tarine peach.
Unlike peaches, nectarines don't have any fuzz, because they suffer from Alo-peach-ea.
My peach friend shaved for the first time the other day, he looks like a nectarine!
Back in the early 2010s, the peach children loved to flock around to listen to Peach Pit.
Do you know why does your mother often shave a peach when cooking? Because she only needs nectarines for the recipe.
At a meeting, Mr. Tomato asked Mr. Peach, "Can you give me the peach cobbler's number, I need to mend my shoes".
A peach biologist was looking for a peach-tree-dish for his upcoming experiment.
I heard that my neighbor, who loved dried fruit, has passed away. May his soul rest in peach.
The peach couple is in love. They seem to be born for peach other.
Q: Why could the fruits not see anything?
A: It was peach black there.
What’s the best time to eat a peach while watching a NASCAR race? During the pit stop!
The fruit stutters because it suffers from a peach impediment.
I don't like cutting up a peach. I think it's because of the pits.
What did the nectarine boxer say to his opponent? "You want a peach of me?"
Those people are preparing peach gelato because they want to demonstrate their rights to freeze peach!
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