How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.