There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
Go to BabaMail
