I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
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