Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
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