I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
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