You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
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