Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
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