Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
"Adulting makes me wine."
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
"Will you accept this rosé?"
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
"Read between the wines."
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
"Love the wine you're with."
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
"I need to re-wine my life."
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
Why have a mer little when you can have a merlot?
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
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