Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
What did the aged cheddar say when his mom told him he couldn’t see a movie that was rated R?
“I’m mature for my age.”
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
What pickup line can you use to pick up a cheese lover?
“Are you cheddar? ‘Cause you’re lookin’ sharp!”
What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite musician?
Mozart-arella.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De-brie went everywhere!
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
How do you get a mouse to smile? Say cheese!
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
What did the commedian say after after a bad set?
That crowd was laughtose intolerant.
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
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