What are the longest lasting relationships in the fruit world? Orange-d marriages.
Why did the orange lose the race?
“Because it got Im-peached.”
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
What did the orange say when a knife pierced it’s peel? Flesh wound.
What do you call a male orange?
Mangerine!
Why does the yogi meditate under the citrus tree?
Because it’s a sub-lime spot.
Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
We had made everything for the party and the groom came in, did a quick assessment and didn’t seem amused. “Orange you glad we did this?” we asked him.
The least favorite day for an orange is a juice day.
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle? – An Orange County Chopper.
Which language do oranges use to speak to each other? Mandarin.
Why was the girl staring at the carton of orange juice?
“It said concentrate.”
A lemon says to an orange, “What are you up to?”
The orange replies, “Not much. Just hanging ‘round.”
The Paddington bears don’t eat lots of marmalade sandwiches because they are already stuffed.
Q: Why are orange and banana phones so popular these days?
A: They have appeal.
We all know that monkeys of all species love bananas, however, there is one family that doesn’t really fancy them, the orang-utans.
What did the apple teacher say to her student? Help me orange the chairs please!
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle?
“An Orange County Chopper.”
Q: What happens when two oranges collide?
A: They get en-tang-led!
When I was in grade school, one of my best friends spoke Mandarin. One day, he introduced me to his parents and I told them I don’t speak orange.
You shouldn’t put orange slices in your beer. Well, maybe once in a Blue Moon.
Why was the orange skeptical of everyone around him?
He was planted with a seed of doubt.
Why did the citrus fruit join the military?
“Because it was a navel orange.”
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
What did the oranges do after concluding the meeting?
They peeled the deal.
Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette?
“They call it “Nico-tang”
What do oranges like to listen to?
Musical com-peel-ations.
What do you get when an Elephant sits on an Orange?
Orange squash.
Why couldn’t the orange dance in the talent show without his partner?
Because it takes two to “tang-o.”
Why did the lemon like the orange? He’s not from concentrate.
Why did the orange go to the doctor? He wasn’t peeling well.
The oranges hadn’t been peeling well for a week when they finally decided to seek medical attention.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
Why do oranges wear suntan lotion? They peel in the sun.
What is the healthiest fruit?
“An orange. It takes Vitamin See!”
The favorite drink for batman is a fruit punch.
During World War 2, sending food to the troops was a challenge. Researchers had to concentrate to figure out how to send orange juice.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad to see me?
Q: Why can’t oranges be pirates?
A: They don’t get scurvy.
An apple and an orange signed up for a tournament. No one was really surprised when they had both were seeded.
Q: What did the old orange see before it died?
A: The grim ripe-r.
What rhymes with orange?
No, it doesn’t.
Why did the orange’s musical number receive a bad review?
Because it wasn’t an “orange-inal.”
In the middle of the night yesterday, I dreamt that I was swimming in a sea of oranges only to wake up and realize that it was just a Fanta-sea.
Why did the orange get pulled over while driving?
He kept peeling out.
When the orange started peeling, he was glad it was finally cutting some weight.
What do you call a punctual citrus fruit?
A Clockwork Orange.
Why was the orange feeling sad?
It lost its zest for life.
Despite the pun being so orange-inal, it wasn’t all that funny.
What do you get when you cross an orange with a parrot? A carrot.
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