Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack‬
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
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