Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
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