What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
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